well most of my day revolves around power hour
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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