dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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