grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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