I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
