it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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