This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
