a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
