How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
They took my balls.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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