She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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