grandma shit on top of the toilet
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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