Small penises have feelings too.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
