She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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