Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
