She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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