Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
