in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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