i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
