the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
