last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Randomize
