Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize