drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
