As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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