Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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