Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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