just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
