You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
