no, he came in my armpit
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
