i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
