he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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