Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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