When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
