Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
