I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
this hospital has no fireball
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
