Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize