i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
