last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
