if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
