it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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