hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
