i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Holy shit dude........stairs
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
