Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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