U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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