so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
