I'm going to jail i love you
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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