better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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