He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
accomplished twins. life is a go
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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