Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
