I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
one might say we're banned from that church
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
time to smoke my breakfast
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
