so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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