i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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