i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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