who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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