If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
