i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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