Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need water and some morals
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
