are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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